Years ago, at a mastermind in Palm Springs, a colleague pulled out her phone, shoved it in my face and said, “Sage, you have to see this.”
She then went on to show me how I could tap a zillion little buttons and, voilà, produce a perfectly edited, heavily filtered video of myself moving forward and then in reverse.
Magic! (she proclaimed with a scary overly frenetic grin on her face).
“OMG! Everyone on Instagram is going to love you, Sage!”
My stomach turned. I walked out to the backyard, found a palm tree, and honestly thought I might pass out underneath it.
It wasn’t just the filter. Or the comparison I was doing between myself & the perfectly airbrushed dancing girls on instagram.
I was tuned in to the chasm between the deep work – and the Instagram “frivolity”.
On one side was the work I’d spent years building: the deep, nuanced, sometimes messy transformation I bring to my clients as I support them to move through their sales blocks, their visibility resistances, and help them make a confident, grounded, high integrity & classy offer as a true representation of their soul work.
On the other was a little rewinding video of my face. I couldn’t see how those two worlds would ever fit on the same screen. So I decided, right there in the shade, that Instagram was good for them, but never for me.
For the next three years, I let my team post for me. A quote here, an announcement there. It didn’t do very well, and I told myself I didn’t care.
Then I started to scroll.
Introducing: Doom Scrolling
You know the feeling. You open the app for “just a minute” and suddenly you’re scrolling… addictively.
You may find yourself staring at a woman with perfect hair, a brand-new pink car, and a caption about her six-figure or even seven-figure expertise. Your chest tightens. Your thumb keeps swiping. And a little voice whispers, I could never be like her. Followed, ten seconds later, by an angry one: and why does she get to be seen as the expert?
The sudden spiral of comparison, inadequacy, and eye-rolling fury that hits when someone else’s highlight reel meets your actual Tuesday.
The truth? Instagram has changed the business landscape substantially, and not only in good ways.
I have clients who hire me with hundreds of thousands of followers who still aren’t getting paid for them. Attention and income are not the same thing, and a lot of brilliant women are learning that the expensive way.
And there’s a harder truth underneath it. The way Instagram and short-form video are built right now, almost anyone can buy a “shiny pink car, say a few smart-sounding things to camera, and be seen as an expert.”
Many of my clients have confided in my team & I that they hired someone they followed online, and it didn’t do much for them.
Some of them feel burned by a mentor with big, exaggerated claims and very little behind them. That erosion of trust is real, and it makes every honest woman’s job harder.
I want to be really clear: I’m not pointing a finger at anyone. The whole “let’s call each other out and make each other wrong” culture on Instagram, I believe – is part of the problem, not the solution. I don’t think we have to polarize against other women to get our own message into the world.
Here’s where I’ve landed, after 14 years building a successful training company serving & reaching over a million women entrepreneurs around the world.
Credibility is not the shine of the car or the volume of the claim. It’s what actually happens for the people you work with.
It’s the client who finally transforms their life. It’s the family who finds their way back to having dinner together around the same table.
It’s the mom who addresses the conflict with her teen using your framework & it transforms their relationship. Those stories are our credibility. Not a highlight reel.
Plot Twist: I’m starting to enjoy Instagram
This year, I started running my own Instagram with Meghan Neeley who’s on my team & has been an amazing partner on this. She’s helping me find a lifestyle-level expression of who I am: the ocean, the travel I love, the work, the coaching of my clients… the whole woman.
And something beautiful is happening. Real relationships with real clients are forming through Instagram, built on resonance instead of a script.
I even got up the courage to do a dancing video of my very own.
(Click here to check it out)
😂😂😂
So – If You Have a Love-Hate Relationship with Instagram Too
Here’s what I’m learning:
And when “Comparing yourself with the Perfect Dancing Girls Syndrome” strikes (or whatever version of that is true for you lol)…
I invite you to close the app, put your feet on the ground, and remember that you are the perfect person to bring the gift that ONLY you can bring. (Because you’ve lived the journey yourself).
And, if you ARE a dancing girl on Instagram – please take no offense. I bow down to your courage as well.
And Sister – Your work is not too deep for this world. The world is starving for it.
Keep going, and keep dancing… your clients are waiting.
Love,
Sage
PS. If you do want a way to make your efforts on social media go way further when it comes to enrolling premium clients – I’m doing another version of my 6-figure webinar training on October 21.
Here’s the link, and it’s 95% off.
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