My Bali Retreat that nearly failed (& what I learned)

One of my dear friends & I just had a giggle over chai – sitting at my favorite little cafe on the ocean here in Santa Cruz, sharing memories of my Bali retreat that nearly fell apart.

This was about 14 years ago, and at the time, it was a long-time dream of mine to lead a retreat in Bali. I had envisioned it for years – the beauty, the connection, the breakthroughs, the magic of being together in such a sacred place.

And when it finally happened, I was so excited, probably a little over-excited (??)  that I think I overlooked a few important things that caused the group & the experience to nearly… fall apart.

And my own shame body to kick in and nearly take ME out of the game.
(Bad idea for retreat leaders lol)

The first rupture happened with our air conditioning failed.
People were hot, uncomfortable, and not sleeping well.

Many had traveled across the world and arrived completely exhausted… and I hadn’t really prepared them for that.

But the biggest thing?

I didn’t set the context well.

I didn’t clearly enough anchor what the retreat was going to be, how to move through it, or what would make the experience most powerful for them. I was trying to make it incredible for everyone… and in doing that, I overpromised.

The schedule was full.
The expectations were high.
And underneath it all, I could feel that things weren’t quite landing.

By day three, the energy in the room had shifted.

So, I had to have a serious pep talk with myself. I woke up at 4am and I started doing what I’ve always done when sh*t hits the fan. 

I call a friend who knows more than me about the thing that I’m attempting to do. 

In fact, I called 3 friends – and one of them was my coach. 

They were all wise, and walked me through what was needed for repair. 

And so that morning – after a breakfast of fresh fruit & smoothies – with my tail between my legs, I brought everyone together, and I told the truth.

With a shaky voice, I took responsibility for what wasn’t working. I shared that I could see how my excitement about creating something extraordinary may have led me to overpromise – which impacted the sacred trust we were trying to create in the space together. 

There was no spin. No trying to make it look better than it was.

Just honesty.

And a few deep breaths to prevent tears as I shared what I was learning. 

And something really beautiful happened.

People softened. There was more openness.  And trust came back into the room.

That moment didn’t break the retreat – it reset it.

And it taught me something I’ve carried into every room since.

After leading dozens of workshops and retreats since then… here’s what I’ve learned:

1. I’ve learned to set the context early – and keep returning to it

Before anything begins, I take time to anchor what this experience is.

Who we’re becoming in the space.  What’s available.
How to show up to get the most out of it.

And I come back to that throughout. I remember that context matters 10x more than content – and that when we set a container for safety, and then a clear intention for the content – it’s so much more effective than fire hosing people with the teaching. 

When people understand the container, they relax – can share more vulnerably, and everything lands more deeply.

And, when people know exactly what to do, how long they have, and what they’re focusing on… they can drop in so much faster.

It removes uncertainty and creates a sense of ease, which allows for deeper breakthroughs.

2. I’ve learned to create real participation, not just full agenda

Early on, I thought a packed schedule meant a valuable experience.

Now I know it’s about how people are engaging with what’s happening.

I build in space for reflection, conversation, and integration… because that’s where the shifts actually occur.

It’s less about doing more, and more about allowing what matters to land.

3. I’ve learned that integration is just as important as the experience itself

One of the things I did to support everyone – was to schedule a follow-up virtual training the week after everyone got home.

I announced this on day 3 when we were resetting the container, and the handful of folks who were expecting something I knew we wouldn’t get to – were instantly at peace knowing it was coming. 

It’s not about always having to BE right – it’s about making it right when we mess up. And we will mess up. 

And after transformational experiences, people need space to integrate what they’ve just experienced.

That follow-up call became such a beautiful completion point.

People shared what had landed. What had shifted.  What they were taking forward.

And it reminded me that the transformation doesn’t end when the retreat ends.  It continues in how people apply what they’ve received.

Looking back, I’m actually so grateful for that experience.

It didn’t go the way I imagined.  But it shaped me in ways that a perfectly executed retreat never could have.

And if you’re feeling called to lead your own workshops or retreats one day or keep growing the ones you’re already leading…

Just know that you don’t have to get everything right.

You’ll learn, adjust and grow into your leadership.

And sometimes the moments that feel the most imperfect are the ones that teach you the most.

PS. I know deep down – that if you’re being called… you ARE meant to lead, to hold space, and to create powerful experiences. 

The world needs you gorgeous. 🔥