S3E9: How to Claim Your Authority to Enroll Clients
Welcome to Women Rocking Business, where we are here to help you rock yourself, rock your life, and rock the world as a woman entrepreneur, because the world needs you and the time is now. I’m Sage Lavine, CEO, trainer, unretired camp counselor, and best-selling author of the Hay House book Women Rocking Business. We’ve had the honor of serving over a hundred thousand women entrepreneurs around the globe just like you, who are here to do more, be more, and have more by giving your gift to the planet. So let’s dive in.
Hello, hello. This week’s topic is authority. What’s your relationship like with authority? Just breathe into that for a moment.
Sage Lavine
00:00:41
As I ask that question, what is your relationship to authority? What’s your relationship to your inner authority? And what has your relationship been like to different authority figures in your life and how might that relationship that you’ve had in the past with authority figures…how might that be affecting your leadership, your confidence and your journey as the entrepreneur that you are now.
As always our commitment here at Women Rocking Business is to get you feeling unstoppable. Like you are absolutely the one that the world has been waiting for. And so today we’re going to be diving into the topic of authority and inner authority as an inroad, to your greatness, to the woman leader that you came here to be, because the Dalai Lama said the Western woman would save the world and he didn’t mean just me.
Sage Lavine
00:01:37
And he didn’t mean just you. He meant all of us. And he also did mean you. He didn’t just mean some random Western woman. He actually met you as well. Right? So breathe into that and feel that. And as you contemplate that question, “What has your relationship with authority been like?,” if you could say in one word, what’s your relationship like with authority in one sentence, in one phrase I’ve been so appreciating some of your comments here, Monique Tittle wrote in and said, honestly, “I think that I’ve kept the opposite oppositional defiance disorder alive from my childhood.” Oppositional defiance disorder.
Sage Lavine
00:02:24
So good. Right? It’s our own way of saying, “I’m a rebel, perhaps?” Natalie Cook says, “I seem to rebel as my usual pattern.” Mel Cavendish says she posted a video clip of Homer Simpson running his car into a police car over and over and over again. “This is the ultimate picture of my relationship with authority.” Homer Simpson’s slamming his car into, into the authorities, into the quote unquote man, right? Jo Herschuller said, “I heard you ask this question on the live stream a few weeks ago. And it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach of a feeling of profound mistrust comes up inside of me.”
Sage Lavine
00:03:10
When I think about authority figures and dozens of you wrote in and said something similar to Jo, that you have a fundamental mistrust of those in quote unquote authority. And that’s the piece of this conversation that I feel like could be a treasure for you today. Because as always, my commitment is to get you a one degree shift that when you start to reflect on yourself, do your inner work, take yourself on around this topic of authority. It can absolutely lead to the outer opportunity to make a much bigger difference in people’s lives, to lead people, to be more at peace with your own power, to be more at peace with your own sense of authority.
Sage Lavine
00:04:00
So here’s what’s true. The root of the word authority is author. The root of the word authority is author. To author one’s own life to author one’s own next chapter to be the author of that which you want to create next in your world, right? And in that claiming of your own inner authority, I believe is the opportunity for you to claim the authority that you can bring to others. And some of you might say, “Well, I just don’t like the word authority. I want to lead others, but I don’t want to be an authority.”
Sage Lavine
00:04:41
And so what I’m asking right now is for us to make peace with the energy of authority in the same way that we’ve been doing our work to make peace with money, to make peace with being convincing, right, to make peace with being a leader at a greater level. And so as we pick this apart, I know for me, one of the stories that comes into my own mind is one of my favorite teachers in high school was my calculus teacher. And she was a badass. She was good at math. And she was incredibly authoritative of the class in certain ways.
Sage Lavine
00:05:22
One of my earliest memories of an authority figure was one of my algebra teachers when I was in seventh grade, her name was Ms. Cook. And we used to make fun of her because she had like a helmet head of hair, but we weren’t really making fun of her hair. We were making fun of her because she was like super intimidating and scary. And she would come, you know, waltzing right up to you in class and stick her face in your face and demand to know the answer. And I was just terrified that Ms. Cook was going to ask me a question in algebra that I wouldn’t know the answer to. She would single people out and if she caught somebody writing a note, she would grab a piece of paper out of their notebook and crumple it up.
Sage Lavine
00:06:09
And, you know, the level at which she sort of threw around her power, pretty sloppily left me, you know, going home from school, sometimes feeling shaky and afraid.
So I remember as I started my business and as I started leading more and more people, I remember at one point having to go back to the seventh grade version of me and having to whisper in that young girl’s ear, like, “You’re safe, you know, you’re okay. This algebra teacher is just pretty full of herself right now. And you, my dear are going to be a hundred percent okay. So, you know, can you learn to breathe in the middle of sitting in this very tension filled classroom right now?”
Sage Lavine
00:06:51
And I wasn’t the only student that felt that way. Of course there were authority figures that followed Ms. Cook that also left a lasting impression on me and my relationship with authority and those, those observations in life absolutely turned me into a little bit of a rebel. Like many of you might be. And I found myself pushing up against authority on more than one occasion.
The first place I invite you to look today is to look at what were the primary authority figures in your life and how did they harness their authority?
Sage Lavine
00:07:35
How did they harness their power? How did they express their power? And how did that affect you? How did that affect the one in you who is now on a mission who is now learning to offer her services, who is now learning to sell what she has to offer? So really your relationship with authority is a critical relationship to reflect on and to assess so that you can fully embrace your ability to offer your services, because at the core of your ability to solve, to make an offer, to make an offer from stage, to make an offer on camera, to make a video, giving people advice and letting people know what action to take next at the core of that is a sense of inner authority, right?
Sage Lavine
00:08:27
So as you look at the relationship between your authority and your ability to effectively guide people to a decision, to invest in themselves, perhaps through your services, right, as you reflect on that, I invite you to also reflect on the authority that it actually takes your potential client to say yes to themselves. If you have a wobbly relationship with authority, that’s going to translate because in any selling conversation or in any selling environment where you might be offering your services to a group of people, there is a transmission back and forth.
Sage Lavine
00:09:07
There’s literally an energetic transmission between you and your people or you and your prospect. And so any place that you’re wobbly will translate the opportunity here is for you to really reflect on places where you might have been wounded, traumatized, hurt by authority, and literally bring love back to that little one, bring love back to that younger version of yourself. This can be a great exercise to do with your journal in a safe space later on today, this is a great exercise to do with a friend, a trusted sister on the phone. Many of you are in our programs and you have buddies that you could hop on the phone or hop on FaceTime with and walk each other through these kinds of exercises.
Sage Lavine
00:09:55
But right now, right here, think back to that younger version of you that potentially was bruised or worse by authority, right? We don’t need to get into all of the horrific things that happen because people take authority in a sideways manner or in a completely wrong and inappropriate and unethical manner. But for now, let’s just all take a deep breath and send love back on those circumstances. And to know that getting through those circumstances actually gives us the grit literally gives us the grit to start our businesses, to serve our clients, to be the woman leaders that we came here to be.
Sage Lavine
00:10:41
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That being said, once again, as we do this healing work, we will be able to harness our own inner, to be able to make the sale, to be able to ask for the sale, to be able to share what it is that we’re charging, to be able to more confidently put our programs together and our businesses, our products, our services, to be able to launch those things in our businesses, because we’ve cultivated that inner sense of trust and respect, right, andinner alignment.
Sage Lavine
00:12:14
When you’re leading somebody in a, in a potential client conversation, you may be on the phone with somebody who’s considering hiring you or who would be a great client for you. Write this down. It’s not about you getting that person, what it is that you think they want. That’s a misuse of authority. Can you feel that? And so my hope is here that when we can point out what aligned authority really is, then you may be more apt to embrace your authority more naturally more organically, more intuitively, and really bring that into your selling conversations, into your videos so that you can be more directive.
Sage Lavine
00:12:59
Because again, write this down. It’s not about getting people what you think they want. It’s actually about holding people accountable to make the changes that they say they want to make. All right. And that’s one of the big hints to being really effective at sales is again, it’s not your job to educate people about why they need you. Yes. You’re going to make the offer. Yes. You’re going to lay out the bullet points in the outline of what it is that you’re offering in your programs or services, but your job is to match what the client, what your potential client says they want with the thing that you’re offering. So when you can use their words, when you can feed their words back to them, when you can let them know, “It would be my honor to support you to have X, Y, Z.” What they said they wanted in their words, it would be my honor to get you there using this system that I’ve created.
Sage Lavine
00:13:55
Can you feel how in alignment that is? Now we can stand in the commitment that we have to, what our potential client says they want. And we don’t have to hang out in a fuzzy, manipulative, weird space of trying to convince anybody of anything, right? That’s a misuse of authority trying to convince somebody the proper use, the aligned use of authority is, “I heard what you said you wanted. It would be my honor to get you there. I really believe I can get you there. Here’s how the program works. That can provide that for you.” Can you feel how clean that is?
Sage Lavine
00:14:36
Because in any selling conversation, whether it’s a video, whether it’s you on stage, whether it’s you with one other person, you have to create space for your potential clients to lean in. Right? The out of alignment, the misaligned authority, would be leaning too far in, would be pushy, would be convincing or not standing in their value at all and leaning out too far. Right? So I’m curious, what is it for you? Do you lean in too far and get a little bit pushy or needy in these conversations? Or are you not leaning in enough? Are you leaning way out?
Sage Lavine
00:15:17
I’m thinking a lot of you would probably be leaning way out, right? I’ve seen some of you do that. And I’m saying that with total love, do you lean too far in, do you lean too far out and to use this sort of making peace process with your inner authority to find that right place of standing in your power and letting people know it would be your honor to support them without having to convince them right. And always tying it back to what they say they want. That’s the sweet spot of you being aligned in your inner authority and you calling forth their inner authority to choose for themselves, to have what they say they want, because they have to make that choice for themselves or the relationship isn’t balanced.
Sage Lavine
00:16:07
And it will likely and unnecessarily. Can you feel that because here’s the other thing about authority, you guys, goddesses, there’s a lot of people out there who are in authority, giving really crappy advice, really crappy advice. There’s a lot of authority figures out there that are spouting out their gospel, and I’m just being super frank. It’s not all very good advice. I’m wondering if you would agree with me and I’m not pointing the finger at anybody, but I’m just saying, right. Western medicine, you know, traditional sales people, you know, the pushy tactics that we have all witnessed in the world have sometimes tainted our own relationship with our inner authority, because we say to ourselves, I don’t want to do it that way.
Sage Lavine
00:17:01
And so right here right now, are you willing to give yourself permission to do it your own way, but to not back down and to not recoil in the face of making that offer because your worth it, like you are so worth it. And if all of these other authority figures out there are going to offer their advice, they’re well intentioned or not advice, it may as well be you, like you may as well be offering your own advice. You may as well be throwing your hat in the ring, because I know for me, I am much more committed to you stepping into your authority. I am much more committed to the folks out there who are looking to invest in solutions like their health, their relationships, their careers, their trust of themselves.
Sage Lavine
00:17:52
I am much more committed to them investing through your services than somebody else’s. It might as well be you. You know, and gone are the times of the guru. In fact, you know what guru means? Guru means, “G, you are you!” Don’t you love that? And really now is the time for a community of leaders to rise forth. And that’s what we’re doing here. One more thing about authority. So here’s what happens when we say we want something. We say, “I want it.” And it’s this thing that we want. That’s like way out there, right? And then life happens.
Sage Lavine
00:18:35
Our kid gets sick and our well intentioned pathway toward the thing that we said we wanted is now diverted right to the sick child. And then, so let me actually show you one more quick factoid about authority and how cool this can be when you actually not only claim your inner authority, but put the anchors and put the guideposts into place to no kidding. Use your inner authority and use the authority of others to go after your dreams. So check this out. When you say, “I want something, I want to grow a business. I want my dream. I’m going after this thing.”
Sage Lavine
00:19:20
Here’s what happens. We start to go after the thing, and then life happens. All of a sudden our kid gets sick. And instead of going after the thing, now we’re dealing with that. And then we have to move. We find mold in our home. And instead of going after the thing, we’re now dealing with whatever is the most emotionally loud disturbance in our world. We’re putting out fires. Has this ever happened to you? And so check this out.
Sage Lavine
00:19:59
When you can actually exert your own inner authority and choose to trust the authority of others, then you can actually put little anchors down on the pathway to your goal. And that’s actually what happens when we hire mentors. Can you feel it? That’s what happens when we read a book. That’s what happens when we surrender toward an authority that we trust. So now we spring toward our goals with more fervor, more speed, more momentum, because we actually have the anchors guiding the way, holding up the torch, saying, “Don’t reinvent the wheel. You can do it this way. Don’t waste your time.”
Sage Lavine
00:20:47
So we will start off on our path toward reaching our goal. And what happens is life happens, right? Life happens. Whatever is the most emotionally loud thing in our world. Whether it’s our kid getting sick, whether it’s mold being discovered in our basement, whether it’s a fire, we have to put out at work or our taxes or relationship problems. Our attention will go there. When we choose our own inner authority. When we choose to trust authority figures, who we find trustworthy, we drop a little anchor along the path toward our dream.
Sage Lavine
00:21:28
We say, “Okay, I’m not there yet. My dream is out there. I can see it, but in order for me to keep walking toward it and not get too far off the path, I actually do need to invest in other authority figures. I need to invest in knowledge. I need to invest in strategies and proven systems so that I don’t end up too far off the path.”
Right? Because life will take over. Life is distracting. It’s full of distractions. And so I don’t know about you, but it’s been my mentors, my coaches, the containers that I have put on my life that have actually enabled me to choose toward the goal rather than get distracted.
Sage Lavine
00:22:10
And so, in addition to you finding those places in spaces where you can learn, you can feel safe. You can grow, you can grow your business and get proven systems and structures. I also invite you to see yourself as one of the anchors along the path of your ideal clients. That’s all you are. You are a glowing light of possibility on the path of your potential clients. That’s who you’re here to be. You’re not here to do it for them. You’re not here to convince them. You’re here to hold them accountable, to what they say they want. And right now, right here, take a breath into your own “yes.”
Sage Lavine
00:22:52
To be the leader that you’re being called to be. The yes that you have to be the authority who becomes the author of helping to create your client’s dreams. That’s what this is about. As you say yes to that within yourself, you will be able to say yes to that on behalf of your customers and clients and money is like glue. People invest when they can feel you are committed. I invite you to breathe into your commitment, to your potential clients. Do the inner work, do the journaling, do the reflecting on your own relationship with authority. We love you. Thank you for being the very best part of the Women Rocking Business sisterhood.
Sage Lavine
00:23:35
And until next time I am here, sending you love on your path of embracing your highest authority, your highest divine authority for this is your divine appointment. And your clients are waiting for you. They’re not just waiting for someone like you. They’re actually waiting for you.
You’ve been listening to Women Rocking Business. I’m Sage Lavine. The next step is to join our private Facebook group, The Women Rocking Business Sisterhood. Introduce yourself over there for the real and vulnerable conversation of what it really takes to launch and scale a business you love in that Sisterhood group. We have each other’s backs, each other’s sides and each other’s fronts. This is true collaboration. So go grab a seat in the Sisterhood because we can go so much further when we go together, you’ll find a link to the private Sisterhood group and to our upcoming events in the show notes.
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